A New Yorker asks: What popular book could the two cities, New York and Philadelphia, be compared to? The Quick or the Dead.
Why is a dog dressed warmer in summer than in winter? Because in winter he wears a fur coat and in summer he wears a coat and pants.
Why is it more dangerous to go out in the spring than any other time of the year? Because in the spring the grass has blades, the flowers have pistils, the leaves shoot, and the bullrushes out.
What is the difference between a hill and a pill? One is hard to get up, the other is hard to get down.
Why is a lazy dog like a hill? Because he is a slow pup (slope up).
A man and goose once went up in a balloon together, the balloon burst and they landed on a church steeple, how did the man get down? Plucked the goose.
Why is a man riding up a hill like a man taking a young dog to a lady? Because he is taking a gallop up (gal a pup).
Why is a dentist a sad and a wicked man? Because he is always looking down in the mouth and dams all his patients.
What is the difference between a king’s son, a monkey’s mother, a bald head, and an orphan? A king’s son is the heir apparent, a monkey’s mother is a hairy parent, a bald head has no hair apparent, and an orphan has nary a parent.
If William Penn’s aunts kept a pastry shop, what would be the prices current of their pies? The pie rates of Penn’s Aunts (Pirates of Penzance).