Why is it impossible for a swell who lisps to believe in the existence of young ladies? Because he calls every miss a mith.
What was Joan of Arc made of? Maid of Orleans.
Why are your eyes like friends separated by the ocean? Because they correspond but never meet.
Why is a lady who faints in a public place like a good intention? Because she needs carrying out.
What is the brightest idea in the world? Your eye, dear.
What animal drops from the clouds? The rain, dear (reindeer).
I went out walking one day and met three beggars; to the first I gave ten cents, to the second I also gave ten cents, and to the third I gave but five—what time of day was it? A quarter to three.
What is that which by losing an eye has nothing left but a nose? Noise.
Why is a hen immortal? Because her son never sets.
What is that which is full of holes and yet holds water? A sponge.