What will impress the ear more sharply than a falsetto voice? A false set of teeth.
What is that which is put on the table and cut, but is never eaten. A pack of cards.
What is the oldest table in the world? The multiplication table.
Which river is the coldest? The Isis (ice is).
Why are cats like unskillful surgeons? Because they mew till late and destroy patience (patients).
Why is it almost certain that Shakespeare was a broker? Because no other man has furnished so many stock quotations.
How can you distinguish a fashionable man from a tired dog? One wears an entire costume, the other wears simply a coat and pants.
Why is a youth trying to raise a moustache like a cow’s tail? Because he grows down.
Why is a professional thief very comfortable? Because he usually takes things so easy.
When is a man obliged to keep his word? When no one will take it.