When may an army be said to be totally destroyed? When its soldiers are all in quarters.
Which is swifter, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch cold.
Why is a young lady like a letter? Because if she isn’t well stamped the mails (males) won’t take her.
Why are dudes no longer imported into this country from England? Because a Yankee dude ’ll do (Yankee doodle doo).
What flowers can be found between the nose and chin? Tulips (two lips).
Why is a dude’s hat like swearing? Because it is something to avoid.
How many wives is a man lawfully entitled to by the English prayer-book? Sixteen: Four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.
Why is a bright young lady like a spoon in a cup of tea? Because she is interesting (in tea resting).
Why does a young man think his sweetheart is like a door-knob? Because she is something to adore (a door).
Why is the emblem of the United States more enduring than that of France, England, Ireland, or Scotland?