What is the difference between a farmer and a seamstress? One gathers what he sows, the other sews what she gathers.
What is the difference between a cow and an old chair? One gives milk, the other gives way (whey).
Why is a washerwoman like Saturday? Because she brings in the clothes (close) of the week.
Why is an actress like an angel? Because we seldom see one that is not painted.
At what time by the clock is a pun most effective? When it strikes one.
What is that which never asks any questions, but requires so many answers? The door-bell.
What kind of a book do some men wish their wives might resemble? An almanac, for then they could have a new one every year.
Why does the conductor cut a hole in your railroad ticket? To let you pass through.
Why is an old coat like iron? Because it is a specimen of hardware (wear).
Why is a list of celebrated musical composers like a sauce-pan? Because it is incomplete without a Handel.