Why do girls kiss each other and men not? Because girls have nothing better to kiss, and men have.
What did the muffin say to the toasting-fork? You’re too pointed.
What composer is most noted of modern times? Chloroform.
What is better than to give credit to whom it is due? Give the cash.
Which musical instrument is the most moral? An upright piano.
What is the difference between a dog’s tail and a rich man? One keeps a wagging and the other keeps a carriage.
How did Henry the Eighth differ as a suiter from other men? He married his wives and axed them afterward.
Why does a man’s hair generally turn gray sooner than his mustache? Because it is about twenty-one years older.
When did George Washington first take a carriage? When he took a hack at the cherry-tree.
What is the political character of a water-wheel? Revolutionary.