What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of its paws, a comma its pause at the end of a clause.
Why are the makers of the Armstrong guns the greatest thieves in her Majesty’s service? Because they rifle all the guns, forge the materials, and steel all the gun breeches.
How may book-keeping be taught in a lesson of three words? Never lend them.
Why is a blush an anomaly? Because a woman who blushes is admitted for her cheek.
Why are Whigs and wigs alike? Because they both profess an attachment to the crown.
What trade is like the sun? A tanner’s.
What is an extra dry subject? A mummy.
What is a counter-irritant? A fashionable woman shopping.
Why are hogs like trees? Because they root for a living.
Why is the moon like a marriage contract? Because it governs the tide.