Why is Satan always a gentleman? Because, being the imp of darkness he can never be imp-o’-light.
How much earth is in a hole 3¼ × 6½ ft.? None.
Why is a pretty girl like a locomotive? Because she sends off the sparks, transports the mails, and has a train following her.
What is the cheapest feature of the face? Nostrils, two for a scent (cent).
Why are stout gentlemen prone to melancholy? Because they are men of size (sighs).
When does the rain become too familiar to a lady? When it begins to pat-her (patter) on the back.
What relation is a door mat to a door step? A step farther.
Why is a baker like some very disreputable people? Because he’s a loafer and a white-cap.
How many of your relatives live on your property? Ten-aunts (tenants).
What is the difference between a dime dated 1899 and a new dollar? Ninety cents.