What prescription is best for a poet? A composing draught.
Why does a bay horse never pay toll? Because his master pays it for him.
Why is the letter S like a pert repartee? Because it begins and ends in sauciness.
What is the best way to keep a man’s love? Not to return it.
When is a soldier a wagon maker? When he makes a wheel.
Why is beef suitable for a Christmas dinner? Meet for rejoicing.
How was Admiral Dewey’s naval rank reduced when he got married? He became Mrs. Dewey’s second mate.
Why is a little dog’s tail like the heart of a tree? Because it’s farthest from the bark.
Why are actresses like pipes? They are mere-shams.
What workman never turns to the left? A wheelwright.