When is a silver cup most likely to run? When it’s chased.
When may a man’s pocket be empty and yet have something in it? When it has a hole in it.
Why is an engraver fearless of drowning? Because he is accustomed to die sinking.
Why are quinine and gentian like the Germans? Because they are two tonics (teutonics).
Why should the proof-reader of a printing establishment be considered the best read man going? Because there’s proof that he reads every hour of the day.
When is butter like Irish children? When it is made into little pats.
If all the money in the world was divided equally among the people what would each one get? An equal share.
What are the most difficult ships to conquer? Hard-ships.
Why don’t foreign noblemen marry poor American girls as well as rich ones? A poor girl has no principal, hence no interest, and without either she cannot bank account (a count).
Why does a dressmaker never lose her hooks? Because she has an eye to each of them.