When is a soldier like a vehicle? When he makes a cart-ridge on the road.
Why are printers liable to bad colds? Because they always use damp sheets.
What fruit does a newly married couple resemble? A green pear (pair).
Can you tell the best way to make the hours go fast? Use the spur of the moment.
Why is wit like a Chinese lady’s foot? Because brevity’s the sole of it.
Why are parliamentary reports called “Blue Books?” Because they are never re(a)d.
Why is it absurd to ask a pretty girl to be candid? Because she cannot be plain.
Why is a sheep like a professional gambler? Because he is brought up on the turf, gambols in his youth, herds with blacklegs, and is fleeced at last.
Why is a well-trained horse like a benevolent man? Because he stops at the sound of wo.
What city is drawn more frequently than any other? Cork.