When are two apples alike? When pared.
When a colored waiter drops a platter of roast turkey, why does it create a great continental disaster? Because it is the fall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece, the ruin of Africa, and the breaking up of China.
What time should an inn keeper visit a foundry? When he wants a bar-maid.
Why was Blackstone like an Irish vegetable? Because he was a common ’tatur (commentator).
Why is an author the most wonderful man in the world? Because he is the owner of many tales and they all come out of his head.
What do you call a boy who eats all the melons he can get, whether they are green or old? He is what we call a pains-taking youngster.
What is an eaves-dropper? The icicle.
What trade is certainly one in which a man will never make a cent except by sticking at it? Bill-posting.
Why is a neglected damsel like a fire that has gone out? Because she has not a spark left.
In what place are two heads better than one? In a barrel.