Perfect Behavior

by Donald Ogden Stewart

Illustrated by Ralph Barton

A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in all Social Crises


Those who are not self-possessed obtrude and pain us.—EMERSON
A parody outline of etiquette by the Author of “A Parody Outline of History”
The perfect gentleman is he who never unintentionally causes pain.—OLD PROVERB

TO THE BRIDEGROOM WHOSE WEDDING WAS RUINED
BECAUSE THE BRIDE CAME DOWN THE AISLE
ON THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF THE LEFT
ARM OF HER FATHER
With Deepest Sympathy

Contents

[CHAPTER ONE: THE ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP]
[CHAPTER TWO: THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS AND WEDDINGS]
[CHAPTER THREE: THE ETIQUETTE OF TRAVEL]
[CHAPTER FOUR: AT THE CONCERT AND THE OPERA]
[CHAPTER FIVE: ETIQUETTE FOR DRY AGENTS]
[CHAPTER SIX: A CHAPTER FOR SCHOOLGIRLS]
[CHAPTER SEVEN: THE ETIQUETTE OF GAMES AND SPORTS]
[CHAPTER EIGHT: CORRESPONDENCE AND INVITATIONS]
[CHAPTER NINE: THE ETIQUETTE OF DINNERS AND BALLS]