Let us begin, first of all, with the duties of one of the minor characters at a wedding—the Groom. Suppose that you are an eligible young man named Richard Roe, who has just become “engaged” to a young lady named Dorothy Doe. If you really intend to “marry the girl,” it is customary that some formal announcement of the engagement be made, for which you must have the permission of Miss Dorothy and her father. It is not generally difficult to become engaged to most girls, but it will surprise you to discover how hard it is to get the young lady whom you believe to be your fiancée to consent to a public announcement of the fact. The reason for this probably is that an engagement which has been “announced” often leads to matrimony, and matrimony, in polite society, often lasts for several years. After you have secured the girl’s permission, it is next necessary that you notify her father of the engagement. In this particular case, as he happens to be your employer, the notification can take place in his office. First of all, however, it would be advisable to prepare some sort of speech in advance. Aim to put him as far as possible at his ease, lead up to the subject gradually and tactfully. Abruptness is never “good form.” The following is suggested as a possible model. “Good morning, Mr. Doe, say, I heard a good story from a traveling salesman last night. It seems that there was a young married couple—(here insert a good story about a young married couple). Wasn’t that rich? Yes, sir, marriage is a great thing—a great institution. Every young man ought to get married, don’t you think? You do? Well, Mr. Doe, I’ve got a surprise for you, (here move toward the door). I’m going to (here open the door) marry (step out of the room) your daughter” (close the door quickly).
THE BRIDE-TO-BE
Before the public announcement of the engagement it is customary for the bride-to-be to write personal letters to all other young men to whom she happens to be engaged at the time. These notes should be kindly, sympathetic and tactful. The same note can be written to all, provided there is no chance of their comparing notes. The following is suggested:
“Dear Bob—
Bob, I want you to be the very first to know that I am engaged to Richard Roe. I want you to like him, Bob, because he is a fine fellow and I would rather have you like him than any one I know. I feel that he and I shall be very happy together, and I want you to be the first to know about it. Your friendship will always remain one of the brightest things in my life, Bob, but, of course, I probably won’t be able to go to the Aiken dance with you now. Please don’t tell anybody about it yet. I shall never forget the happy times you and I had together, Bob, and will you please return those silly letters of mine. I am sending you yours.”
Nothing so completely betrays the “Cockney” as a faulty knowledge of sporting terms. The young lady at the left has just returned from the hunting field hand-in-hand with the dashing “lead,” who happens to be an eligible billionaire. Her hostess, the mother of the sub-deb at the right, has greeted her by hissing, “S—o—o! I see you’ve had a good day’s hunting!” The use of this unsportsmanlike expression—in stead of the correct “Hope you had a good run,” or “Where did you find?”—at once discloses the hostess’s mean origin and the young lady will almost certainly never accept another invitation to her house.
In this work-a-day world, one is likely to forget that there is an etiquette of pleasure, just as there is an etiquette of dancing or the opera. One often hears a charming hostess refuse to invite this or that person to her home for a game of billiards on the ground that he or she is a “bum sport” or a “rotten loser.” The above scene illustrates one of the little, but conspicuous, blunders that people make. The gentleman, having missed his fifth consecutive shot, has broken his cue over his knee and is ripping the baize off the table with the sharp end. This display is not in the best taste.
