“Next Monday night is Hallowe’en,
You big stiff.”
or
“On Monday next comes All-Hallows-Even,
My grandmother’s maiden name was Stephens.”
or
“On Hallowe’en you may see a witch
If you don’t look out, you funny fellow.”
or
“Harry and I are giving a Hallowe’en party;
Harry says you owe him four dollars; please be prompt.
or
“Monday night the ghosts do dance;
Why didn’t you enlist and go to France,
You slacker?”
Another novel invitation is made by cutting a piece of yellow paper thirteen inches long and four inches wide, and writing on each inch one of the lines given below. Then begin at the bottom and fold the paper up, inch by inch. Fasten the last turn down with a “spooky” gummed sticker, and slip into a small envelope. When the recipient unfolds the invitation, he will be surprised to read the following:
Now what on earth
do you suppose
is in this
little folder
keep turning
ha ha ha
further
ha ha ha
further
ha ha ha,
further
ha ha ha
further
It would perhaps be best to telephone the next day to those guests whom you really want, and give them further details as to the date and time of the party. Additional fun can be gotten out of this invitation by failing to put postage stamps on the envelopes when you mail them; the two cents which each guest will have to pay for postage due can be returned in a novel manner on the night of the party by inserting them in sandwiches or stuffed tomatoes.
For those who may wish to send out more elaborate invitations, the following distinctly original plan is suggested: Procure a number of small alarm clocks and a quantity of nitroglycerine or other high explosive. Insert in each clock a small amount of the nitroglycerine, being careful not to put too much; a quantity sufficient to wreck a room 20 X 30 Will generally suffice. Then arrange the alarm mechanism so that the explosion will occur at 12 midnight. Attach to the clock a card, neatly decorated with witches, goblins, etc., on which is written
“Midnight is the mystic hour
Of yawning graves and coffins dour.
Beneath your bed this clock please hide
And when it strikes—you’ll be surprised.”
These clocks should then be delivered in the afternoon to those of the guests whom you are merely inviting because they are your husband’s business associates, or because they were nice to your mother when she did her own work. Later on, in order to avoid hard feelings on the part of relatives and friends of the deceased, it might be well to explain to them that you sent the clocks only in the spirit of Hallowe’en fun; it might even help to invite them to one of your next parties.
RECEIVING THE GUESTS
On Hallowe’en night great care should be taken in the preparations for receiving the guests in a mystic manner; no pains should be spared in the effort to start the evening off with a “bang.”
Several novel ideas are offered for starting the guests off on the right informal spirit. Before they arrive, it is a good plan to take the street number off your house and fasten it to the porch of your next door neighbors, who will, of course, be at home because they are perfectly impossible people whom no one would invite anywhere. Extinguish all the lights in your own house; your neighbor, as he comes downstairs twenty-five or thirty times in the next hour, will obligingly tell your bewildered friends specifically where to go.