He was a very little and old hump-backed man, that might have passed for Obi among the negroes. The old hunchback, with the utmost civility that a rogue could put on when about to cheat a fellow-creature in distress, addressed me as follows:—“Monsieur, if you do not choose to pay, you may act as you please, and you can remain where you are.” This was absurd logic to my ears, and very inconvenient reasoning to my pocket; but whilst I was pondering for a politic and cautious reply, the tormentor resumed his license of speech, and said, “Monsieur, you are a Frenchman; and as your friend and master, Buonaparte, robs and plunders everybody, I hold it to be all fair that I make you Frenchmen pay what I please.”
I must confess that this identification of me with a Frenchman gave me an assurance that my real character was not suspected; and although my purse was nearly at low-water mark, I paid the cross-grained, old curmudgeon his four hundred per cent profit upon ferrying over a Frenchman.
Our Liliputian voyage was only about four miles, and yet, in the midst of it, I had nearly exposed or betrayed myself; for a sudden puff of wind or slight squall, coming off the land, would have upset the boat, had I not snatched the sheet (of the sail) from the hand of the clumsy fellow that managed it. This was “the ruling passion” strong in everything. The boatmen seemed astonished: they stared at each other, but said nothing. In fact, I had acted imprudently. A Frenchmen is seldom or never considered to be a sailor; and every Englishman is viewed by a foreigner as a man naturally familiar with all nautical affairs; and our boatmen, I apprehended, began to suspect that “I was no Frenchman.”
We now reached the opposite shore, and entered the territory of Bavaria.[16] We were about to land at a small fortified town; and ramparts, embrasures, and bristling guns presented to my mind strong ideas of examining passports, and of even searching persons, with the inevitable result of chains, handcuffs, and a dungeon.
The sound of drums saluted my ears in all directions, and I feared it was for the shutting of the gates. Being landed, I continued with the others, passing through the street, and inquired, without causing suspicion, “What time the gates would be closed?” They replied, “In three-quarters of an hour.” To my unspeakable joy, no person appeared to inspect papers. My fellow-passengers went to an inn, and I asked for the nearest way out of the town on the Lindau road. Having received the required information, I proceeded, and, to my great delight, finding the gate open, I very soon passed it.
I proceeded about two leagues without falling in with a living creature or seeing anything like a habitation. I at length saw lights, and soon arrived in a small village.[17] Necessity urged me on, and I went into a public-house and got a bed and supper. Several people were drinking in the room where I was; they laughed heartily at my Frenchified bows and scrapes, and wished me to drink with them, but which I declined. I slept tolerably well, and felt happy at having amused those fellows, at the same time that my grimaces answered my own purpose.
At daybreak, on Sunday, 29th November, I got some breakfast, and proceeded towards Lindau. My feet were getting better, and I advanced with great glee. After passing through several picturesque villages on the banks of the lake, at about five o’clock of the afternoon I saw the town of Lindau, and calculated that it was between four and five miles off. I halted at a small village[18] to refresh myself, as well as because I conjectured that it was too early, though it was apparently at a respectable distance, to pass by the town, more especially as it appeared large, and as it, moreover, struck me that, being Sunday, I should have to meet many people in the environs. I therefore entered a public-house, and found in it two women and a man eating their dinner, or rather supper. From the landlady, who was an old woman, I got some wine, bread, and sausages, and I contrived to amuse away, or rather to spin out, the time until it was nearly seven o’clock. I now judged it proper to proceed; and paying the old dame, I set out, full of hope, not unmixed with care and anxiety, but still little suspecting the extent of the evil that was to befall me.
I had not proceeded many hundred yards when I discovered that several soldiers were walking very fast behind me. I thought that they might be in pursuit of me. I next conjectured that if they were not in chase, they were making speed, in order not to be shut out of the town for the night. Either calculation was a sufficient motive for me to move in double-quick march. I continued at this pace for about three-quarters of a league, until, upon turning suddenly an angle on the road, I discovered that I was close to the gate that led to the town. I likewise saw the town itself, at a considerable distance, on an island, and found that this was the gate of the bridge which connected that island with the mainland.
The soldiers were close in the rear; I therefore did not think it prudent to turn back; and I flattered myself that there was no necessity, as I perceived that my road led to the left, after passing the gate on my right hand. I thought that our course might be in opposite directions. In this hope I proceeded—passed the gate and sentinel—not a question was asked me, or a look bestowed upon me—my heart rebounded with joy—I was safe—my sufferings were rewarded, and a glorious triumph filled my imagination, even to ecstasy. Lameness was forgotton; and I was, if I may use the term, tripping along full of visions of the little I should have to undergo, of the little time that would elapse, ere I should be again upon England’s element, under her glorious flag, and in the exercise of all my duties of a naval officer.
Alas! how frail are all human hopes! In this state of mind I was suddenly stopped by an elderly man, who, it appeared, had followed me from the gate. He very civilly asked in German if I had a passport. As a ruse de guerre, I replied in French, “That I did not understand his language.” To my surprise and alarm, he readily met my reply, and, in excellent French, politely expressed his desire to see my passport. I wished him and his question in a worse place than limbo or the river Styx; but, as my invention had so often been put to extremities, I was not at a loss to parry his unpleasant interrogatories. I assured the old gentleman that I had lost the whole of my papers, and, I added, what was worse, almost all my money, with several little articles of property, whilst I was crossing the lake on the preceding evening. In fact, I said that my pocket-book had dropped out of my pocket, and sank to rise no more, as the money it contained had, unfortunately, made it too heavy to float.