One day Bannister was obliged to take shelter from the rain in a comb-maker’s shop, in Holborn, where an old man was at work. ‘I am sorry,’ said he, ‘that a person of your time of life should suffer so much pain.’ ‘Pain! I have no pain, thank God!’ said the man. ‘Surely you must,’ said the wit, ‘are you not cutting your teeth?’
Coming into a coffee-house one stormy night, Bannister said, ‘I never saw such a wind in my life.’ ‘Saw a wind,’ said a friend; ‘pray what was it like?’ ‘Like,’ answered Bannister, ‘like to have blown my hat off.’
EPIGRAM.
‘Is my wife out of spirits,’ said Sir John, with a sigh;
(For he fear’d that a tempest was forming:)
‘Quite out, sir, indeed,’ said her maid in reply,
‘She finished the brandy this morning.’
One day going to Holland House, by the Hammersmith stage, Rogers was mortified to find that by the delay of the coachman he had missed meeting with the noble proprietor. ‘Why, bless my heart,’ said he, looking at his watch, ‘you have been considerably more than an hour bringing me here! What do you call your coach?’ ‘The Regulator, Sir,’ said the man. ‘The Regulator!’ replied Rogers; ‘it is a very proper title—for all the other stage coaches go by it.’
A lady observing Mr. Jekyll directing some letters, one of which was addressed to ‘Mr. ——, Solicitor;’ and another to ‘Mr. ——, Attorney;’ inquired what was the difference between an attorney and a solicitor. ‘Much the same, my dear Madam,’ replied the wit, ‘as there is between a crocodile and an alligator.’
Poor Laws.—A man in the last stage of destitution, came before the sitting Magistrate, at Lambeth Street, and stated that having by the operation of the new Poor Laws, been suddenly deprived of parish assistance, he was reduced to such extremity, that if not instantly relieved he must be driven to do a deed that his soul abhorred. The worthy Magistrate instantly ordered him five shillings from the poor-box, and after a suitable admonition against giving way to despair, asked him what dreadful deed he would have been impelled to, but for this seasonable relief; ‘To work,’ said the man with a deep sigh as he left the office.