A BANE TO PIKE.
Some boys diverting themselves in one of the streets of Edinburgh, observed on a door, a brass plate with Al—x—nd—r Guthrie, W. S. engraved on it. In their diverson, they broke a pane of glass in one of the windows, upon which Mrs. Guthrie and the maid sallied forth and seized one of the delinquents. “Ye young rascal, what’s ye’r name?” says the lady, “Saundy,” replied the boy. “What’s ye’r ither name?”—“Guthrie.”—“Wha’s ye’r mither?”—“My mither sells burd’s cages.”—“Whar does she live?”—“I’ the Patter Raw.”—“Wha’s ye’r father?”—“I dinna ken.”—“Do ye no ken ye’r father?”—“Na! he ne’er comes but whan it’s dark, an’ naebody kens bit my mither.” Upon hearing this, the lady in a passion let go her victim, and running into the room where her husband was sitting, fell a-scolding him like a fury about his infidelity towards her. The young rogue laughed heartily at the success of his fraud, and turning to his companions, said to them, “I think I’ve gi’en her a bane to pike!”
SEEING ONE DRUNK.
The late Rev. Mr.—— of D—— Aberdeenshire was fond of his friend and a bottle; he sacrificed so often and so freely to the jolly god, that the presbytery could no longer overlook such proceedings, and summoned him before them to answer for his conduct.—One of the elders, and constant companion in his social hours, was cited as a witness against him. “Well, John (says one of the presbytery to the elder) did you ever see the Rev. Mr. C—— the worse of drink?” “Weel a wyte no: I’ve mony a time seen him the better o’t, but I ne’er saw him the war o’t.” “But did you never see him drunk?” “That’s what I’ll ne’er see, for before he be half slockened, I’m aye blind fu’.”
JOHN FALKIRK’S