Answer, To speak of nothing but what they know, and to give their opinion of nothing but what they thoroughly understand.
Ques. What time is it when a scolding wife is at her best?
Ans. When she is fast asleep.
Q. What time is a scolding wife at the worst?
A. When she is that wicked as to tear the hair out of her head, when she cannot get at her neighbours, and through perfect spite bites her own tongue with her own teeth.—My hearty wish is, that all such wicked vipers may ever do so.
Q. What is the most effectual cure and infallible remedy, for a scolding wife?
A. The only cure is to get out of the hearing of her; but the infallible remedy is to nail her tongue to a growing tree, in the beginning of a cold winter night, and so let it stand till sun-rising next morning, then she’ll become one of the peaceablest women that ever lay by a man’s side.
Q. What time of the year is it that there are most holes open?
A. In harvest when there are stubbles.
Q. What time is a cow heaviest?