On a time the men of Gotham fain would have pinned in the cuckoo that she might sing all the year; and in the midst of the town they had a hedge made round in compass, and got a cuckoo and put her into it, and said, Sing here, and thou shalt lack neither meat nor drink all the year. The cuckoo, when she found herself encompassed by the hedge, flew away. A vengeance on her, said these wise men, we did not make our hedge high enough.
TALE IV.
There was a man of Gotham who went to Nottingham market to sell cheese; and going down the hill to Nottingham bridge, one of his cheeses fell out of his wallet and ran down the hill. Whoreson, said the man, can you run to the market alone? I’ll now send one after another. Then laying his wallet down, and taking out the cheeses, he tumbled them down the hill one after another. Some ran into one bush and some into another. He charged them, however, to meet him at the market place. The man went to the market to meet the cheeses, and staying till the market was almost over, then went and inquired of his neighbours if they saw his cheeses come to the market? Why, who should bring them? says one; Marry, themselves, said the fellow, they knew the way very well. A vengeance on them, they ran so fast, I was afraid they would run beyond the market; I am sure they are by this time as far as York. So he immediately rode to York, but was much disappointed. And to add to it, he never found nor heard of one of his cheeses.
TALE V.
A man of Gotham bought, at Nottingham market, a trevet of bar iron; and going home with it, his feet grew weary with the carriage. He set it down, and seeing it had three feet, said, Whoreson, thou hast three feet and I but two; thou shalt bear me home if thou wilt, so he set himself down upon it, and said to it, bear me as long as I have done thee, for if thou dost not thou shalt stand still for me. The man of Gotham saw his trevet would not move. Stand still said he, in the Mayor’s name, and follow me if thou wilt, and I can shew you the right way. When he went home, his wife asked where the trevet was? He said it had three legs, and he had but two, and he had taught him the ready way to his house, therefore he might come himself if he would. Where did you leave the trevet? said the woman. At Gotham bridge, said he. So she immediately ran and fetched the trevet herself; otherwise she must have lost it on account of her husband’s want of wit.
TALE VI.
A certain smith of Gotham had a large wasp’s nest in the straw at the end of the forge, and there coming one of his neighbours to have his horse shod, and the wasps being exceeding busy, the man was stung by one of them. The man, being grievously affronted, said, Are you worthy to keep a forge or not, to have men stung with these wasps? O neighbour, said the smith, be content, and I will put them from their nest presently. Immediately he took a coulter, and heated it red hot, and thurst it into the straw at the end of his forge, and set it on fire, and burnt it up. Then, said the smith, I told thee I’d fire them out of their nest.
TALE VII.
On Good Friday the men of Gotham consulted together what to do with their white herrings, sprats, and salt fish, and agreed, that all such fish should be cast into a pond or pool, in the midst of the town, that the number of them might increase the next year. Therefore every one that had any fish left, did cast them immediately into the pond. Then said one, I have gotten left so many red herrings. Well, said another, and I have left so many whitings. Another cried out, I have as yet gotten so many sprats left. And, said the last, I have gotten so many salt fishes, let them go together in the great pond, without any distinction, and we may be sure to fare like lords the next year. At the beginning of the next Lent, they immediately went about drawing the pond, imagining they should have the fish, but were much surprised to find nothing but a great eel. Ah! said they, a mischief on this eel, for he hath eaten up our fish. What must we do with him? said one; chop him in pieces, said another. Nay, not so, said another, but let us drown him. Be it accordingly so, replied they all. So they went immediately to another pond, and cast the eel into the water. Lay there, said these wise men, and shift for thyself, since you may not expect help from us. So they left the eel to be drowned.