Tom. And were they kind to you when you was in Scotland?
Teag. They were that kind, that they kick’t my arse for me, and the reason was because I would not pay the whole of the liquor that was drunk in the company, though the landlord and his two sons got mouthful about of it; they would have me pay it all, tho’ I did not drink it all, and I told them it was a trick upon travellers, first to drink his liquor, and then to kick him out of doors.
Tom. I really think they have used you badly, but could you not beat them?
Teag. That’s what I did, beat them all to their own contentment; but there was one of them stronger than me, who would have killed me, if the other two had not pulled me away, and I had to run for it, till his passion was over; then they made us drink and gree again; we shook hands, and made a bargain, never to harm other more; but this bargain did not last long, for, as I was kissing his mouth, by shaint Patrick, I bit his nose, which caused him to beat me very sore for my pains.
Tom. Well Pady, what calling was you when in Scotland.
Teag. Why sir, I was no business at all, but what do you call the green tree that’s like a whin bush, many people makes a thing to sweep the house of it!
Tom. O yes Pady, they call it a broom.
Teag. Ay, ay, you have it, then I was a gentleman’s broom, only waited on his horses, and washed the dishes for the cook; and when my master rode a hunting, I ran behind along with the dogs.
Tom. O yes, Pady, it was a groom you mean, but I fancy you was cook’s mate, or kitchen-boy.
Teag. No, no, it was the broom that I was, and if I had staid there till now, I might have been advanced as high as my master, for the ladies loved me so well, that they laughed at me.