Q. What is the reason, that these three parts of man, woman, and dogs, are coldest?
A. Fabulous historian say that there was three little holes in Noah’s Ark, and that the dog stopt his nose in one, and the other the man put his knee in it, a third and biggest hole broke, the woman bang’d her backside in it and these parts being exposed to the cold blast, make them always cold ever since.
Q. And what does the women do to warm their cold parts?
A. The married women turn their backsides to the goodman’s belly; virgins and those going mad for marriage the heat of their maidenhead keeps them warm, old matrons, whirl’d o’er maidens, widow and widows bewitch’d hold up their coldest parts to the fire.
Q. And what remedy does the poor dog take for his cold nose?
A. Stops it below his tail the hottest bit in his body.
Q. What is the reason the dogs are worst on the chapmen, than on other strange people?
A. It is said the dogs have three accusations against the chapmen, handed down from father to son, or from one generation of dogs to another; the first is as old as Æsop the great wit of Babylon, the dog having a lawsuit against the cat, gained the plea, and coming trudging home with the decree below his tail a wicked chapman throwing his ellwan at him, he let it fa’ and so lost all his privileges thereby. The second is, because in old times the chapmen used to buy dogs and kill them for their skins. The third, when a chapman was quarterd in a farmer’s house, that night the dog lost his property the licking the pot.
Q. What creature resembles most a drunken piper?