Q. Which are the disorderliest creatures in battle?
A. Cows and dogs for they all fall on them that are neath-most.
Q. Who are the vainest sort of people in the world?
A. A barber, a tailor, a young soldier, and a poor dominie.
Q. What is the great cause of the barber’s vanity?
A. His being admitted to trim noblemen’s chafts, thyke their sculls, take kings by the nose, and hold a razor to his very throat, which no other subject else dare do.
Q. What is the great cause of the tailor’s pride?
A. His making of peoples new clothes, of which every person, young and old is proud of, then who can walk in a vainer shew than a tailor carrying home a gentleman’s clothes.
Q. What is the cause of a young soldier’s pride?
A. When he lists, he thinks he is free from his mother’s correction, the hard usage of a bad master, has a liberty to curse, swear, whore, and do every thing; until he be convinced by four halberts and the drummer’s whip that he has now got both a military and civil law above his head, and perhaps worse masters than ever.