“And what is most selfish - most mean of you, Caudle - you can go and enjoy yourself, and never so much as bring home for the poor children a gingerbread nut. Don’t tell me that your pocket was picked of a pound of nuts! Nice company you must have been in to have your pocket picked.
“But I daresay I shall hear all about it to-morrow. I’ve no doubt, sir, you were dancing at the Crown and Anchor. I should like to have seen you. No: I’m not making myself ridiculous. It’s you that’s making yourself ridiculous; and everybody that knows you says so. Everybody knows what I have to put up with from you.
“Going to a fair, indeed! At your time - ”
“Here,” says Caudle, “I dozed off hearing confusedly the words - hill - gipsies - rattles - roundabouts - swings - pink bonnet - nuts.”
LECTURE X - ON MR. CAUDLE’S SHIRT-BUTTONS
“There, Mr. Caudle, I hope you’re in a little better temper than you were this morning? There - you needn’t begin to whistle: people don’t come to bed to whistle. But it’s like you. I can’t speak, that you don’t try to insult me. Once, I used to say you were the best creature living; now you get quite a fiend.
“Do let you rest?
“No: I won’t let you rest. It’s the only time I have to talk to you, and you shall hear me. I’m put upon all day long: it’s very hard if I can’t speak a word at night: besides, it isn’t often I open my mouth, goodness knows.
“Because once in your lifetime your shirt wanted a button you must almost swear the roof off the house!
“You didn’t swear?