“Why can’t I put the washing out?
“Now, you have asked that a thousand times, but it’s no use, Caudle; so don’t ask it again. I won’t put it out. What do you say?
“Mrs. Prettyman says it’s quite as cheap?
“Pray, what’s Mrs. Prettyman to me? I should think, Mr. Caudle, that I know very well how to take care of my family without Mrs. Prettyman’s advice. Mrs. Prettyman, indeed! I only wish she’d come here, that I might tell her so! Mrs. Prettyman! But, perhaps she’d better come and take care of your house for you! Oh, yes! I’ve no doubt she’d do it much better than I do - much. No, Caudle! I won’t hold my tongue. I think I ought to be mistress of my own washing by this time - and after the wife I’ve been to you, it’s cruel of you to go on as you do.
“Don’t tell me about putting the washing out. I say it isn’t so cheap - I don’t care whether you wash by the dozen or not - it isn’t so cheap; I’ve reduced everything, and I save at least a shilling a week. What do you say?
“A trumpery shilling?
“Ha! I only hope to goodness you’ll not come to want, talking of shillings in the way you do. Now, don’t begin about your comfort: don’t go on aggravating me, and asking me if your comfort’s not worth a shilling a week? That’s nothing at all to do with it - nothing: but that’s your way - when I talk of one thing, you talk of another; that’s so like you men, and you know it. Allow me to tell you, Mr. Caudle, that a shilling a week is two pound twelve a year; and take two pound twelve a year for, let us say, thirty years, and - well, you needn’t groan, Mr. Caudle - I don’t suppose it will be so long; oh, no! you’ll have somebody else to look after your washing long before that - and if it wasn’t for my dear children’s sake I shouldn’t care how soon. You know my mind - and so, good-night, Mr. Caudle.”
“Thankful for her silence,” writes Caudle, “I was fast dropping to sleep; when, jogging my elbow, my wife observed - ‘Mind, there’s the cold mutton to-morrow - nothing hot till that’s gone. Remember, too, as it was a short wash to-day, we wash again on Wednesday.’”
LECTURE XVIII - CAUDLE, WHILST WALKING WITH HIS WIFE, HAS BEEN BOWED TO BY A YOUNGER AND EVEN PRETTIER WOMAN THAN MRS. CAUDLE
“If I’m not to leave the house without being insulted, Mr. Caudle, I had better stay indoors all my life.