“And to my astonishment and gratitude,” writes Caudle, “she kept her word.”
LECTURE XXII - CAUDLE COMES HOME IN THE EVENING, AS MRS. CAUDLE HAS “JUST STEPPED OUT, SHOPPING.” ON HER RETURN, AT TEN, CAUDLE REMONSTRATES
“Mr. Caudle, you ought to have had a slave - yes, a black slave, and not a wife. I’m sure, I’d better been born a negro at once - much better.
“What’s the matter now?
“Well, I like that. Upon my life, Mr. Caudle, that’s very cool. I can’t leave the house just to buy a yard of riband, but you storm enough to carry the roof off.
“You didn’t storm? you only spoke?
“Spoke, indeed! No, sir: I’ve not such superfine feelings; and I don’t cry out before I’m hurt. But you ought to have married a woman of stone, for you feel for nobody: that is, for nobody in your own house. I only wish you’d show some of your humanity at home, if ever so little - that’s all.
“What do you say?
“Where’s my feelings, to go shopping at night?
“When would you have me go? In the broiling sun, making my face like a gipsy’s? I don’t see anything to laugh at, Mr. Caudle; but you think of anybody’s face before your wife’s. Oh, that’s plain enough; and all the world can see it. I dare say, now, if it was Miss Prettyman’s face - now, now, Mr. Caudle! What are you throwing yourself about for? I suppose Miss Prettyman isn’t so wonderful a person that she isn’t to be named? I suppose she’s flesh and blood. What?