LECTURE XXIV - MRS. CAUDLE DWELLS ON CAUDLE’S “CRUEL NEGLECT” OF HER ON BOARD THE “RED ROVER.” MRS. CAUDLE SO “ILL WITH THE SEA,” THAT THEY PUT UP AT THE DOLPHIN, HERNE BAY.
“Caudle, have you looked under the bed?
“What for?
“Bless the man! Why, for thieves, to be sure. Do you suppose I’d sleep in a strange bed without? Don’t tell me it’s nonsense! I shouldn’t sleep a wink all night. Not that you’d care for that; not that you’d - hush! I’m sure I heard somebody. No; it’s not a bit like a mouse. Yes; that’s like you - laugh. It would be no laughing matter if - I’m sure there is somebody! - I’m sure there is!
“ - Yes, Mr. Caudle; now I am satisfied. Any other man would have got up and looked himself; especially after my sufferings on board that nasty ship. But catch you stirring! Oh, no! You’d let me lie here and be robbed and killed, for what you’d care. Why you’re not going to sleep? What do you say?
“It’s the strange air - and you’re always sleepy in a strange air?
“That shows the feelings you have, after what I’ve gone through. And yawning, too, in that brutal manner! Caudle, you’ve no more heart than that wooden figure in a white petticoat at the front of the ship.
“No; I couldn’t leave my temper at home. I dare say! Because for once in your life you’ve brought me out - yes, I say once, or two or three times, it isn’t more; because, as I say, you once bring me out, I’m to be a slave and say nothing. Pleasure, indeed! A great deal of pleasure I’m to have, if I’m told to hold my tongue. A nice way that of pleasing a woman.
“Dear me! if the bed doesn’t spin round and dance about! I’ve got all that filthy ship in my head! No: I sha’n’t be well in the morning. But nothing ever ails anybody but yourself. You needn’t groan in that way, Mr. Caudle, disturbing the people, perhaps, in the next room. It’s a mercy I’m alive, I’m sure. If once I wouldn’t have given all the world for anybody to have thrown me overboard! What are you smacking your lips at, Mr. Caudle? But I know what you mean - of course, you’d never have stirred to stop ’em; not you. And then you might have known that the wind would have blown to-day; but that’s why you came.
“Whatever I should have done if it hadn’t been for that good soul - that blessed Captain Large! I’m sure all the women who go to Margate ought to pray for him; so attentive in sea-sickness, and so much of a gentleman! How I should have got down stairs without him when I first began to turn, I don’t know. Don’t tell me I never complained to you; you might have seen I was ill. And when everybody was looking like a bad wax-candle, you could walk about, and make what you call your jokes upon the little buoy that was never sick at the Nore, and such unfeeling trash.