“No, Caudle, that won’t do. I know better. You never came at all. Oh, no! cigars and brandy took all your attention. And when I was so ill, that I didn’t know a single thing that was going on about me, and you never came. Every other woman’s husband was there - ha! twenty times. And what must have been my feelings to hear ’em tapping at the door, and making all sorts of kind inquiries - something like husbands and I was left to be ill alone? Yes; and you want to get me into an argument. You want to know, if I was so ill that I knew nothing, how could I know that you didn’t come to the cabin-door? That’s just like your aggravating way; but I’m not to be caught in that manner, Caudle. No.”
“It is very possible,” writes Caudle, “that she talked two hours more, but, happily, the wind got suddenly up - the waves bellowed - and, soothed by the sweet lullaby (to say nothing of the Dolphin’s brandy-and-water) I somehow sank to repose.”
LECTURE XXV - MRS. CAUDLE, WEARIED OF MARGATE, HAS “A GREAT DESIRE TO SEE FRANCE.”
“Bless me! aren’t you tired, Caudle?
“No?
“Well, was there ever such a man! But nothing ever tires you. Of course, it’s all very well for you: yes, you can read your newspapers and - What?
“So can I?
“And I wonder what would become of the children if I did! No; it’s enough for their father to lose his precious time, talking about politics, and bishops, and lords, and a pack of people who wouldn’t care a pin if we hadn’t a roof to cover us - it’s well enough for - no, Caudle, no: I’m not going to worry you; I never worried you yet, and it isn’t likely I should begin now. But that’s always the way with you - always. I’m sure we should be the happiest couple alive, only you do so like to have all the talk to yourself. We’re out upon pleasure, and therefore let’s be comfortable. Still, I must say it: when you like, you’re an aggravating man, Caudle, and you know it.
“What have you done now?
“There, now; we won’t talk of it. No; let’s go to sleep: otherwise we shall quarrel - I know we shall. What have you done, indeed! That I can’t leave my home for a few days, but I must be insulted! Everybody upon the pier saw it.