LECTURE XXXI - MRS. CAUDLE COMPLAINS VERY BITTERLY THAT MR. CAUDLE HAS “BROKEN HER CONFIDENCE.”
“O you’ll catch me, Mr. Caudle, telling you anything again. Now, I don’t want to have any noise: I don’t wish you to put yourself in a passion. All I say is this; never again do I open my lips to you about anybody. No: if man and wife can’t be one, why there’s an end of everything. Oh, you know well what I mean, Mr. Caudle: you’ve broken my confidence in the most shameful, the most heartless way, and I repeat it - I can never be again to you as I have been. No: the little charm - it wasn’t much - that remained about married life, is gone for ever. Yes; the bloom’s quite wiped off the plum now.
“Don’t be such a hypocrite, Caudle; don’t ask me what I mean! Mrs. Badgerly has been here - more like a fiend, I’m sure, than a quiet woman. I haven’t done trembling yet! You know the state of my nerves, too; you know - yes, sir, I had nerves when you married me; and I haven’t just found ’em out. Well, you’ve something to answer for, I think. The Badgerlys are going to separate: she takes the girls, and he the boys, and all through you. How you can lay your head upon that pillow and think of going to sleep, I can’t tell.
“What have you done?
“Well, you have a face to ask the question. Done? You’ve broken my confidence, Mr. Caudle: you’ve taken advantage of my tenderness, my trust in you as a wife - the more fool I for my pains! - and you’ve separated a happy couple for ever. No; I’m not talking in the clouds; I’m talking in your bed, the more my misfortune.
“Now, Caudle - yes, I shall sit up in the bed if I choose; I’m not going to sleep till I have this properly explained; for Mrs. Badgerly sha’n’t lay her separation at my door. You won’t deny that you were at the club last night? No, bad as you are, Caudle - and though you’re my husband, I can’t think you a good man; I try to do, but I can’t - bad as you are, you can’t deny you were at the club. What?
“You don’t deny it?
“That’s what I say - you can’t. And now answer me this question. What did you say - before the whole world - of Mr. Badgerly’s whiskers? There’s nothing to laugh at, Caudle; if you’d have seen that poor woman to-day, you’d have a heart of stone to laugh. What did you say of his whiskers? Didn’t you tell everybody he dyed ’em? Didn’t you hold the candle up to ’em, as you said, to show the purple?
“To be sure you did?
“Ha! people who break jokes never care about breaking hearts. Badgerly went home like a demon; called his wife a false woman: vowed he’d never enter a bed again with her, and to show he was in earnest, slept all night upon the sofa. He said it was the dearest secret of his life; said she had told me; and that I had told you; and that’s how it has come out. What do you say?