LECTURE XXXII - MRS. CAUDLE DISCOURSES OF MAIDS-OF-ALL-WORK AND MAIDS IN GENERAL. MR. CAUDLE’S “INFAMOUS BEHAVIOUR” TEN YEARS AGO
“There now, it isn’t my intention to say a word to-night, Mr. Caudle. No; I want to go to sleep, if I can; for after what I’ve gone through to-day, and with the headache I’ve got, - and if I haven’t left my smelling-salts on the mantelpiece, on the right-hand corner just as you go into the room - nobody could miss it - I say, nobody could miss it - in a little green bottle, and - well, there you lie like a stone, and I might perish and you wouldn’t move. Oh, my poor head! But it may open and shut, and what do you care?
“Yes, that’s like your feeling, just. I want my salts, and you tell me there’s nothing like being still for a headache. Indeed? But I’m not going to be still; so don’t you think it. That’s just how a woman’s put upon. But I know your aggravation - I know your art. You think to keep me quiet about that minx Kitty, - your favourite, sir! Upon my life, I’m not to discharge my own servant without - but she shall go. If I had to do all the work myself, she shouldn’t stop under my roof. I can see how she looks down upon me. I can see a great deal, Mr. Caudle, that I never choose to open my lips about - but I can’t shut my eyes. Perhaps it would have been better for my peace and mind if I always could. Don’t say that. I’m not a foolish woman, and I know very well what I’m saying. I suppose you think I forget that Rebecca? I know it’s ten years ago that she lived with us - but what’s that to do with it? Things aren’t the less true for being old, I suppose. No; and your conduct, Mr. Caudle, at that time - if it was a hundred years ago - I should never forget. What?
“I shall always be the same silly woman?
“I hope I shall - I trust I shall always have my eyes about me in my own house. Now, don’t think of going to sleep, Caudle; because, as you’ve brought this up about that Rebecca, you shall hear me out. Well, I do wonder that you can name her! Eh?
“You didn’t name her?
“That’s nothing at all to do with it; for I know just as well what you think, as if you did. I suppose you’ll say that you didn’t drink a glass of wine to her?
“Never?
“So you said at the time, but I’ve thought of it for ten long years, and the more I’ve thought the surer I am of it. And at that very time - if you please to recollect - at that very time little Jack was a baby. I shouldn’t have so much cared but for that; but he was hardly running alone, when you nodded and drank a glass of wine to that creature. No; I’m not mad, and I’m not dreaming. I saw how you did it, - and the hypocrisy made it worse and worse. I saw you when the creature was just behind my chair; you took up a glass of wine, and saying to me, ‘Margaret,’ and then lifting up your eyes at the bold minx, and saying ‘my dear,’ as if you wanted me to believe that you spoke only to me, when I could see you laugh at her behind me. And at that time little Jack wasn’t on his feet. What do you say?
“Heaven forgive me?