Another underlying but often unknown factor in many of the divorce cases is sterility. In some states the law says this is a just cause for divorce, because the future of the nation depends on the production of children. Because a woman, in her ignorance, has married a man who is incapable of producing healthy offspring, due to his having "sown his wild oats," should not be a reason why she should be condemned to forego the pleasures of motherhood. Because a man has married a woman who is sterile or who selfishly refuses to bear children should not be a reason why he should be denied an heir.
Again, it is unfair to the future generation to compel mismated couples to live together. Children brought into the world under such conditions are bequeathed a heritage that will have a demoralizing effect upon their whole after life. Children, who every day hear quarrels and strife between those they should honor, lose something of the beauty of life; they become hardened and quarrelsome. Of course these divorces must not be granted promiscuously; for in bringing children into the world, parents assume an obligation that cannot be neglected. In considering a separation, the parents' first thought should be, "What is best for my children?" The duty to the children should be settled first. Then the question comes, "What is my duty to my wife or my husband?" for the act of making any contract imposes certain obligations. The individual circumstances must settle what these obligations are. Last comes the question, "What is my duty to myself? I was placed in this world to make the best use of my life. Am I doing it or is it impossible to do so unless I change my environment and associates?" The conscience of the individual should be the guide now.
Were there more frankness and sincerity in discussing the problems and conditions of married life before marriage much unhappiness would be avoided and there would be fewer divorces; for many engaged people would thus discover they were mismated before the marriage ceremony. To reach a complete understanding is the main purpose of the engagement period. Marriage is not a lottery nor a game of chance to the man and woman entering it with a knowledge of sex relations and with absolute mutual honesty.
CHAPTER XIV
THE NEED OF EARLY INSTRUCTION OF GIRLS
Dr. Charles W. Eliot, former president of Harvard University, recently said:
"The subject of reproduction and sexual hygiene should be more generally presented to young people by parents and teachers. I am convinced that the policy of silence has failed disastrously."
That you may understand how widely spread is this desire on the part of women for a better knowledge of themselves and of those things so vitally important to the welfare of the future generation, I shall quote a few extracts from letters I have received from women in various parts of the country. These letters, too, will serve to show the woeful ignorance along these lines among even the well educated women, and also the need for some systematic instruction.