In a letter to his brother, dated July 17th, he writes of the gloomy prospects of the husbandman throughout that country, saying, "We have been afflicted with war and with pestilence, and now we are threatened with famine, which is, if possible, a greater evil. I hope the people may learn righteousness whilst these various judgments are abroad in the earth."
When speaking of the funeral of Mr. Hutchins, he says, "There was indeed a great solemnity in this scene. The widow's heart was a fountain of sorrow. The sons wept much, and on the face of one of the daughters sat the serene impress of eternity, whilst all the connections and friends seemed to mourn the loss of a Christian, a patriot, and a worthy member of the community. Several hours before the meeting, I spent in a pleasant grove; my retired moments, which were very solemn, were passed in meditation, prayer, and weeping; at the close of the services the afflicted family manifested to me an uncommon degree of friendship. Though very unwell, I rode to Middleton that day." In speaking of his trials, at the close of this July journal, he says: "It is well for mankind that they know not what the future conceals, lest they might shrink before the approaching conflict. I found in all my trials God's grace sufficient for me. 'In me ye shall have peace,' and to God I make my prayer that he would save me from whatever is unlike himself. 'Make me even as one of thy hired servants.'" There is an inward living current of faith flowing through his mind; nor were there any crises in his life, nor were there any trying positions into which the force of circumstances brought him, that, carefully examined, are found to be unvisited and unrefreshed by this living water of life in his soul. Like the mystic rock the Hebrew prophet smote, his heart flows out in living water.
August, 1816. "From the 1st to the 20th my time was spent in Brookfield, Middleton, Farmington, attending to reading, writing, preaching, and visiting from house to house. The 20th, had a good and solemn time at Brookfield; being ready to start for R. I., after having a public meeting we held a conference, in which brother Joseph Gooding, in an animating manner, told his religious experience, and requested baptism, which I administered at evening, whilst it seemed as though the heavens were opened and the Spirit descended upon the assembly. We then walked for a half a mile, singing the praise of God. After changing my dress, I rode to the residence of John Chamberlain, Esq., where I was kindly received, and where I found the company of Mr. F. Cogswell, of Gilmanton, whose visits among his brethren were like the coming of Titus in the days of apostolical truth and religious simplicity. The 21st, we rode to Farmington and enjoyed a happy meeting; the 22d, being ready to start on a journey to the South, I asked my affectionate companion which she would prefer me to do,—enter into business, accumulate property, and be respectable in the world, or do the will of the Lord in going forth to preach the Gospel, leaving her at home, and subjecting ourselves to be poor in this world all our days. After a moment's reflection, she burst into a flood of tears, and said, 'I hope you will do the Lord's will, whatever else may happen.' We had a weeping time. The next morning I arose early and bade all my friends an affectionate farewell, not expecting to see them again for several weeks. Here my trial was very great. I had known what it was to forsake father and mother, brother and sister, houses and homes for Christ's sake, but in leaving one who was so nearly a part of my own life, I found that it exceeded all other trials belonging to the separation of friends. The 24th I went to Deerfield to attend a general meeting. I was there also on the 25th. The 26th it was continued at Candia, and a blessing seemed to attend it. The 27th and 28th, attended the Ministers' Conference at Candia. The 29th, after the close of conference, I heard the Rev. Elias Smith preach at Deerfield, N. H. From several considerations, I was induced to postpone my journey to the South, and, in company with Mr. E. Plan, returned to Rochester and Farmington.
Sept. 1816. "From the 1st to the 10th I passed at Farmington, holding several meetings: the 11th, went to Gilmanton; the 13th, in company with Mr. Cogswell, started for the province of Canada, to visit our relatives, and to seek the welfare of Zion. The 14th, arrived at the house of my eldest brother, in Wheelock, Vt., a distance of 112 miles; on Tuesday following, arrived at Danville, held meeting at the Court House, where, favored by the presence of a good assembly and six ministers of the Gospel, I found liberty in speaking the living word. Our minds were mutually refreshed. On Wednesday, held meeting in the north part of the town, and at Mr. Wicker's in the evening, where I was amazed to find Mrs. W. happy and in health, as she had been sick for three years, and had, according to the testimony of herself and friends, been miraculously restored a few days before my arrival. Two years previous I had visited her in her illness, which served to increase my surprise at her present condition, induced, as I was told, by simple compliance in faith with the direction of the Apostle James 5: 14, 15. On Sunday, at Compton, we enjoyed an excellent meeting with old friends, relatives, and acquaintances, and on Monday evening rode to Ascott to visit a company of Christians who had formerly been noted for piety and engagedness, but were now the subjects of delusion. Abundantly had they been blessed of God; but instead of learning humility, they appeared to build themselves up in the spirit of self-righteousness. One whom they styled Apostle and Prophet was to them the highest authority, equal to anything in the Holy Scripture. He had revelations concerning all the business to be done by his followers; also his pretended illumination extended to marriages and to the intercourse of the sexes, and when his ipse dixit was given on these points, immorality was unblushingly practised. Pretending to have personal interviews with angels he had six followers, who, at his command, would fall upon their knees, lie prostrate upon the floor, or walk in a pretended labor for souls. Sometimes he kept them walking for several days and nights without eating or sleeping, when they would frequently faint and fall upon the floor. They often screamed, howled, and barked, making various strange noises, and bending themselves up into many shapes. They most tenaciously held that they were the only true church on earth, and that no person out of their pale was capable of giving them the least instruction. Like all the fanatics I ever saw, they evinced great hatred and spite when opposed, and sometimes they were full of the spirit of mocking. As I had known them when they were respectable young people, and had enjoyed with them the best of Christian fellowship, I could but deeply mourn over the delusion in which they were lost. After spending eighteen hours with them, I bore the most decided testimony I could against their sentiments and procedure. How many are carried away by every wind of doctrine, and allow the pure religion of Jesus, with which they begin, to degenerate into an alloy of earth and passion! Ever may I be kept in the Mediator, where I shall be permanent and uncontrolled by the wild extremes of the age. The week following I spent at Compton, holding meetings in different parts of the town. On Sunday, the 29th, the assembly was large, and we had a weeping time, as I bade them farewell in the name of Him in whom is our hope and love; and on Monday visited from house to house. Being ready to depart on the morrow, and thinking that it was the last time I should repose under my father's roof, my thoughts and feelings were deeply solemn, as I looked out upon the world-wide field of my future labors. My very heart was pained, and the night passed away in almost entire sleeplessness. Here closes the month, and in feelings of the greatest solemnity.
(Oct. 1816. Letter to his father. Montpelier, Vt., Oct. 12, 1816.) "Dear Father,—With pleasure I improve a few moments in writing to you, that you may be informed of my good health, and my agreeable visit at Stanstead, Wheelock and Danville. I preached the next Sunday after I left home, at Danville Court House, and in the evening at Major Morrill's. On Monday I came to this town, and held a meeting at the Hall of Esquire Snow; in this place and Calace I have held meetings all through the week. Last Thursday I attended the election. After the Governor was chosen, the ministers of all denominations were invited to his apartment, where all the choicest kinds of drinks were placed before them, and a rich dinner was prepared. Gov. J. Galusha was chosen by a very great majority. He is an agreeable man, and apparently a real Christian. His conduct through the day excited the admiration of the spectators, and it manifested, I think, the spirit of true patriotism and of sound Christianity. I have an appointment here to-morrow and expect that some will be baptized. We intend to start for N. H. on Monday. I am in great haste. Give my love to Mother, Thomas, Hannah and all my friends. God bless you all with life eternal. Farewell.
"Joseph Badger."
"Maj. Peaslee Badger."
Resuming his journal we find the following on this month. After meeting a large assembly at Danville, on Sunday, 13th, and administering baptism as intimated in his letter, he returned to his home at Farmington, N. H., the 16th, where he resumed his ministerial labor. He speaks of his appointments in different places as being to his own spirit refreshing; and of the sickness of his wife, and of outward trials and burdens as being great. His fine and sensitive nature, with all its composure and heroism, was alive to the influence of surrounding circumstances. Great and trying must have been the difficulties into which his position in the world at times must have brought him. These, however, only proved the strength and competency of the man. He never bowed his manly head in despair. He says, "Amidst all my conflict, in my retired moments I find consolation in trusting in God and in hoping for better days; and before the year shall end, O God, may I be allowed to see great displays of thy power." His clouds were always colored in part with the sun's rays. In a letter to his wife, dated Gilmanton, Oct. 31, he states the cause which commanded all the faculties of his mind:—
"As I am so far on my journey I think it best to continue it. Our parting at this time is no less disagreeable to me than to yourself. If I were to return home, the cross and the self-denial of our separation would not be diminished. We must learn to forsake all for our dear Redeemer's cause. It is not, dear Mary, to please myself or others that I leave you. It is wholly for the benefit of mankind, and for the promotion of the cause of Christ. In a few weeks, if the Lord will, I shall return to your fond embraces. Be composed and reconciled to my absence, and never utter a murmuring sigh at the will of Heaven."