The Serapion Brethren, Vol. II

by E. T. A. Hoffmann

The old fellow screwed his face up into the most sugary smile imaginable, twitched his eyebrows, and said, "It is easy to see that you are a fine musician yourself, Signor, for you have taste, and you can value people better than the unthankful Romans. Listen, listen to the aria of all arias."

He rose up, stood on the extreme points of his tiptoes, stretched out his arms, and closed both his eyes (so that he was exactly like a cock making ready for a crow), and immediately began to utter such a terrible screeching that the walls resounded again, and Dame Caterina came rushing in with her two daughters, having no other idea than that the terrible howling indicated the happening of some signal disaster. They stood completely bewildered in the doorway when they became aware of the old gentleman crooning in this manner, thus constituting themselves the audience of this unheard-of virtuoso, Capuzzi.

But as this was going on, Salvator had set the spinett to rights, shut down the top of it, taken his palette and set to work to paint, in bold touches, upon the very cover of the spinett, the most wonderful subject imaginable. The principal theme of it was a scene from Cavalli's opera, 'Le Nozze di Teti;' but there was mingled with this, in utterly fantastic fashion, a whole crowd of other characters, amongst whom were Capuzzi, Antonio, Marianna (exactly as she appeared in Antonio's picture), Salvator himself, Dame Caterina and her daughters, and even the Pyramid Doctor, and all so genially and comprehendingly pourtrayed, that Antonio could not conceal his delight at the Maestro's talent and technique.

The old fellow by no means restricted himself to the scena which Salvator had asked him for, but went on singing, or rather crowing, without cessation, working his way through the most terrible recitatives from one diabolical aria to another. This may have gone on for some two hours or so, till he sank down into an arm-chair, cherry-brown of countenance. By that time, however, Salvator had got so far with his sketch that everything in it appeared to be alive, and the effect of it, when seen a little way off, was that of a finished picture.

"I have kept my promise as regards the spinett, dear Signor Capuzzi," Salvator whispered into the old man's ear, and Capuzzi sprang up like one awaking from sleep. His eyes fell on the painted spinett; he opened them wide, as if looking upon a miracle, crammed his peaked hat down on to his periwig, took his crook-headed stick under his arm, made one jump to the spinett, wrenched the cover of it out of the hinges, and ran, like one possessed, out of the door, down the steps, and off and away out of the house, whilst Dame Caterina and her daughters accompanied his exit with bursts of laughter.

"The old skinflint knows very well," said Salvator, "that he has only to take the painted top of the spinett to Count Colonna, or to my friend Rossi, to get forty ducats, or more, for it in a moment."

Salvator and Antonio now set about considering the plan of attack which they were about to carry out on the following night. We shall presently see what it was, and what was the success of their attempt.

When night came, Pasquale, after carefully bolting and barring up his house, carried the little monster of a Castrato home. The little creature mewed and complained all the way, that not only was he compelled to sing his lungs into a consumption over Capuzzi's arias, and burn his hands with cooking of macaroons, but, into the bargain, was employed in a service which brought him in nothing but cuffs on the ears and sound kicks, which Marianna dealt out to him in ample measure whenever he came into her vicinity. The old gentleman comforted him as well as he could, promising to supply him more plentifully with sugar- stuff than he had hitherto done, and even going so far as to enter into a solemn undertaking (inasmuch as the little wretch would not cease whining and lamenting) to have a little Abbate's coat made for him out of an old black plush doublet, which he had often looked upon with envious glances. He demanded, besides, a periwig and a sword. Discussing those matters, they reached the Strada Vergognona, for that was where Pitichinaccio lived, and, indeed, only four doors from Salvator.

The old man set the little creature carefully down, and opened the door. Then they went up the narrow steps, more like a hen's ladder than anything else; but scarcely had they got half-way up when they became aware of a tremendous raging on the storey above, and a wild drunken fellow made his voice heard, calling upon all the devils in hell to show him the way out of this accursed, haunted house. Pitichinaccio, who was in front, pressed himself close to the wall and implored Capuzzi to go on first, for the love of all the saints. Scarcely, however, had Capuzzi gone a step or two up when the fellow from above came stumbling down the stairs, came upon Capuzzi like a whirlwind, seized hold of him, and went floundering down with him through the open door right into the middle of the street. There they remained lying prostrate, Capuzzi nethermost, and the drunken fellow on the top of him, like a heavy sack. Capuzzi screamed pitifully for help, and immediately there appeared two men, who, with much pains, eased Capuzzi of his burden, the drunken fellow, who went staggering away as they did so.

The two men were Salvator and Antonio, and they cried, "Jesus! what has happened to you, Signor Capuzzi? What are you doing here at this time of the night? You seem to have had some bad business going on in the house."