The following detailed account of the marriage ceremonies among the Tangalān Paraiyans was furnished by Mr. K. Rangachari. The parents or near relations of the contracting parties meet, and talk over the match. If an agreement is arrived at, an adjournment is made to the nearest liquor shop, and a day fixed for the formal exchange of betel leaves, which is the sign of a binding engagement. A Paraiyan, when he goes to seek the hand of a girl in marriage, will not eat at her house if her family refuse to consider the alliance, to which the consent of the girl’s maternal uncle is essential. The Paraiyan is particular in the observation of omens, and, if a cat or a valiyan (a bird) crosses his path when he sets out in quest of a bride, he will give her up. The betrothal ceremony, or pariyam, is binding as long as the contracting couple are alive. They may live together as man and wife without performing the marriage ceremony, and children born to them are considered as legitimate. But, when their offspring marry, the parents must first go through the marriage rites, and the children are then married in the same pandal on the same day. At the betrothal ceremony, the headman, father, maternal uncle, and two near relations of the bridegroom-elect, proceed to the girl’s house, where they are received, and sit on seats or mats. Drink and plantain fruits are offered to them. Some conversation takes place between the headmen of the two parties, such as “Have you seen the girl? Have you seen her house and relations? Are you disposed to recommend and arrange the match?” If he assents, the girl’s headman says “As long as stones and the Kāveri river exist, so that the sky goddess Akāsavāni and the earth goddess Bhūmadēvi may know it; so that the water-pot (used at the marriage ceremony), and the sun and moon may know it; so that this assembly may know it; I ... give this girl.” The headman of the bridegroom then says “The girl shall be received into the house by marriage. These thirty-six pieces of gold are yours, and the girl is mine.” He then hands betel leaves and areca nuts to the other headman, who returns them. The exchange of betel is carried out three times. Near the headmen is placed a tray containing betel nuts, a rupee, a turmeric-dyed cloth in which a fanam (2½ annas) is tied, a cocoanut, flowers, and the bride’s money varying in amount from seven to twenty rupees. The fanam and bride’s money are handed to the headman of the girl, and the rupee is divided between the two headmen. On the betrothal day, the relations of the girl offer flowers, cocoanuts, etc., to their ancestors, who are supposed to be without food or drink. The Paraiyans believe that the ancestors will be ill-disposed towards them, if they are not propitiated with offerings of rice and other things. For the purpose of worship, the ancestors are represented by a number of cloths kept in a box made of bamboo or other material, to which the offerings are made. On the conclusion of the ancestor worship, the two headmen go to a liquor shop, and exchange drinks of toddy. This exchange is called mel sambandham kural, or proclaiming relationship. After the lapse of a few days, the girl’s family is expected to pay a return visit, and the party should include at least seven men. Betel is again exchanged, and the guests are fed, or presented with a small gift of money. When marriage follows close on betrothal, the girl is taken to the houses of her relations, and goes through the nalugu ceremony, which consists of smearing her with turmeric paste, an oil bath, and presentation of betel and sweets. The auspicious day and hour for the marriage are fixed by the Valluvan, or priest of the Paraiyans. The ceremonial is generally carried through in a single day. On the morning of the wedding day, three male and two married female relations of the bridegroom go to the potter’s house to fetch the pots, which have been already ordered. The potter’s fee is a fowl, pumpkin, paddy, betel, and a few annas. The bride, accompanied by the headman and her relations, goes to the bridegroom’s village, bringing with her a number of articles called petti varisai or box presents. These consist of a lamp, cup, brass vessel, ear-ornament called kalāppu, twenty-five betel leaves and areca nuts, onions, and cakes, a lump of jaggery (crude sugar), grass mat, silver toe-ring, rice, a bundle of betel leaves and five cocoanuts, which are placed inside a bamboo box. The next item in the proceedings is the erection of the milk-post, which is made of a pestle of tamarind or Soymida febrifuga wood, or a green bamboo. To the post leafy twigs of the mango or pīpal (Ficus religiosa) are tied. In some places, a pole of the Odina Wodier tree is said to be set up, and afterwards planted near the house, to see if it will grow. Near the marriage dais a pit is dug, into which are thrown nine kinds of grain, and milk is poured. The milk-post is supported on a grindstone painted with turmeric stripes, washed with milk and cow’s urine, and worshipped, with the Valluvan as the celebrant priest. The post is then set up in the pit by three men and two women. A string with a bit of turmeric (kankanam) is tied to the milk-post, and to it and the dais boiled rice is offered. Kankanams are also tied round the wrists of the bride and bridegroom. The bridegroom’s party go to the temple or house where the bride is awaiting them, bringing with them a brass lamp, vessel and cup, castor and gingelly oil, combs, confectionery, turmeric, and betel leaves. The procession is headed by Paraiyans beating tom-toms, and blowing on trumpets. When their destination is reached, all take their seats on mats, and the various articles which they have brought are handed over to the headman, who returns them. The bride is then taken in procession to the marriage house, which she is the first to enter. She is then told to touch with her right hand some paddy, salt, and rice, placed in three pots inside the house. Touching them with the left hand would be an evil omen, and every mishap which might occur in the family would be traced to the new daughter-in-law. The bride and bridegroom next go through the nalugu ceremony, and some of the relations proceed with the ceremony of bringing sand (manal vāri sadangu). A cousin of the bridegroom and his wife take three pots called sāl karagam and kūresāl, and repair to a river, tank (pond) or well, accompanied by a few men and women. The pots are set on the ground, and close to them are placed a lamp, and a leaf with cakes, betel leaves and nuts set on it. Pūja (worship) is made to the pots by burning camphor and breaking cocoanuts. The Vettiyan then says “The sun, the moon, the pots, and the owner of the girl have come to the pandal. So make haste and fill the pot with water.” The woman dips a small pot in water, and, after putting some sand or mud into a big pot, pours the water therein. The pots are then again worshipped. After the performance of the nalugu, the bridal couple go through a ceremony for removing the evil eye, called “sige kazhippu.” A leaf of Ficus religiosa, with its tail downwards, is held over their foreheads, and all the close relations pour water over it, so that it trickles over their faces; or seven cakes are placed by each of the relations on the head, shoulders, knees, feet, and other parts of the body of the bridegroom. The cakes are subsequently given to a washerman. The parents of the bridal couple, accompanied by some of their relations, next proceed to an open field, taking with them the cloths, tāli, jewels, and other things which have been purchased for the wedding. A cloth is laid on the ground, and on it seven leaves are placed, and cooked rice, vegetables, etc., heaped up thereon. Pūja is done, and a goat is sacrificed to the ancestors (Tangalanmar). By some the offerings are made to the village goddess Pidāri, instead of to the ancestors. Meanwhile the bridegroom has been taken in procession round the village on horseback, and the headmen have been exchanging betel in the pandal. On the bridegroom’s return, he and the bride seat themselves on planks placed on the dais, and are garlanded by their maternal uncle with wreaths of Nerium odorum flowers. The maternal uncle of the bride presents her with a ring. In some places, the bride is carried to the dais on the shoulders or in the arms of the maternal uncle. While the couple are seated on the dais the Valluvan priest lights the sacred fire (hōmam), and, repeating some words in corrupt Sanskrit, pours gingelly oil into the fire. He then does pūja to the tāli, and passes it round, to be touched and blessed by those assembled. The bridegroom, taking up the tāli, shows it through a hole in the pandal to the sky or sun, and, on receipt of permission from those present, ties it round the neck of the bride. Thin plates of gold or silver, called pattam, are then tied on the foreheads of the contracting couple, first by the mother-in-law and sister-in-law. With Brāhman and non-Brāhman castes it is customary for the bride and bridegroom to fast until the tāli has been tied. With Paraiyans, on the contrary, the rite is performed after a good meal. Towards the close of the marriage day, fruit, flowers, and betel are placed on a tray before the couple, and all the kankanams, seven in number, are removed, and put on the tray. After burning camphor, the bridegroom hands the tray to his wife, and it is exchanged between them three times. It is then given to the washerman. The proceedings terminate by the two going with linked hands three times round the pandal. On the following day, the bride’s relatives purchase some good curds, a number of plantains, sugar and pepper, which are mixed together. All assemble at the pandal, and some of the mixture is given to the headman, the newly married couple, and all who are present. All the articles which constitute the bride’s dowry are then placed in the pandal, and examined by the headman. If they are found to be correct, he proclaims the union of the couple, and more of the mixture is doled out. This ceremony is known as sambandham kūral or sambandham piriththal (proclaiming relationship). Two or three days after the marriage, the bridegroom goes to the house of the bride, and remains there for three days. He is stopped at the entrance by his brother-in-law, who washes his feet, puts rings on the second toe, and keeps on pinching his feet until he has extracted a promise that the bridegroom will give his daughter, if one is born to him, in marriage to the son of his brother-in-law. The ring is put on the foot of the bride by her maternal uncle at the time of the marriage ceremony, after the wrist threads have been removed. In some places it is done by the mother-in-law or sister-in-law, before the tāli is tied, behind a screen.
Polygamy is not common among the Paraiyans, but Mr. Clayton has known a few instances in which a Paraiyan had two regularly married wives, each wearing a tāli. But it is very common to find that a Paraiyan has, in addition to his formally married wife, another woman who occupies a recognised position in his household. The first wears the tāli. The other woman does not, but is called the second wife. She cannot be dismissed without the sanction of the parachēri council. The man who maintains her is called her husband, and her children are recognised as part of his family. Mr. Clayton believes that a second wife is usually taken only when the more formally married wife has no children, or when an additional worker is wanted in the house, or to help in the daily work. Thus a horsekeeper will often have two wives, one to prepare his meals and boil the gram for the horse, the other to go out day by day to collect grass for the horse. The Tamil proverb “The experience of a man with two wives is anguish” applies to all these double unions. There are constant quarrels between the two women, and the man is generally involved, often to his own great inconvenience. It is quite common for a Paraiyan to marry his deceased wife’s sister, if she is not already married.
A Paraiya woman usually goes to her mother’s house a month or two before she expects the birth of her first child, which is born there. Sometimes a medicine woman (maruttuvacchi), who possesses or professes some knowledge of drugs and midwifery, is called in, if the case is a bad one. Generally her barbarous treatment is but additional torture to the patient. Immediately after the birth of the child, the mother drinks a decoction called kashāyam, in which there is much ginger. Hence the Tamil proverb “Is there any decoction without ginger in it?” About a week after the birth, the mother, as a purificatory ceremony, is rubbed with oil and bathed.
Among Sūdras there is a family ceremony, to which the Sanskrit name Simanta has been assigned, though it is not the true Simanta observed by Brāhmans. It occurs only in connection with a first pregnancy. The expectant mother stands bending over a rice mortar, and water or human milk is poured on her back by her husband’s elder or younger sister. Money is also given to buy jewels for the expected child. The ceremony is of no interest to anyone outside the family. Hence the proverb “Come, ye villagers, and pour water on this woman’s back.” This is used when outsiders are called in to do for a member of a family what the relatives ought to do. This ceremony is sometimes observed by Paraiyans. Among Brāhmans it is believed to affect the sex of the child. It should be added that it is firmly believed that, if a woman dies during pregnancy or in childbed, her spirit becomes an exceedingly malignant ghost, and haunts the precincts of the village where she dies.
A widow does not wear the tāli, which is removed at a gathering of relatives some days after her husband’s death. “The removal of the tāli of a widow,” Mr. Francis writes,[59] “is effected in a curious manner. On the sixteenth day after the husband’s death, another woman stands behind the widow, who stoops forward, and unties the tāli in such a way that it falls into a vessel of milk placed to receive it. Adoption ceremonies are also odd. The adoptee’s feet are washed in turmeric water by the adopter, who then drinks a little of the liquid. Adoption is accordingly known as manjanīr kudikkiradu, or the drinking of turmeric water, and the adopted son as the manjanīr pillai, or turmeric water boy.” Paraiya women do not wear any distinctive dress when they are widows, and do not shave their heads. But they cease to paint the vermilion mark (kunkumam) on their foreheads, which married women who are living with their husbands always wear, except at times when they are considered ceremonially unclean. The widow of a Paraiyan, if not too old to bear children, generally lives with another man as his wife. Sometimes she is ceremonially married to him, and then wears the tāli. A widow practically chooses her own second husband, and is not restricted to any particular relative, such as her husband’s elder or younger brother. The practice of the Levirate, by which the younger brother takes the widow of the elder, is non-existent as a custom among Paraiyas, though instances of such unions may be found. Indeed the popular opinion of the Tamil caste credits the Paraiyan with little regard for any of the restrictions of consanguinity, either prohibitive or permissive. “The palmyra palm has no shadow: the Paraiyan has no regard for seemliness” is a common Tamil proverb.
It is stated, in the Madras Census Report, 1891, that “the Paraiyans have been but little affected by Brāhmanical doctrines and customs, though in respect to ceremonies they have not escaped their influence. Paraiyans are nominally Saivites, but in reality they are demon worshippers.” The Hōmakulam tank in the South Arcot district is reputed to be the place where Nanda, the Paraiyan saint, bathed before he performed sacrifice preparatory to his transfiguration to Brāhmanhood.[60] Brāhman influence has scarcely affected the Paraiyan at all, even in ceremonial. No Paraiyan may enter any Vaishnava or Saiva temple even of the humblest sort, though of course his offerings of money are accepted, if presented by the hands of some friendly Sūdra, even in such exclusive shrines as that of Srī Vīra Rāghava Swāmi at Tiruvallūr. It is true that Paraiyans are often termed Saivites, but there are many nominal Vaishnavas among them, who regularly wear the nāmam of Vishnu on their foreheads. The truth is that the feminine deities, commonly called dēvata, have been identified by Hindus with the feminine energy of Siva, and thus the Paraiyans who worship them have received the sectarian epithet. As a matter of fact, the wearing of the nāmam of Vishnu, or the smearing of the ashes of Siva, is of no meaning to a Paraiyan. They are neither Saivites nor Vaishnavites.
Paraiyans.
Like all other Dravidians, the Paraiyans acknowledge the existence of a supreme, omnipresent, personal spiritual Being, the source of all, whom they call Kadavul (He who is). Kadavul possesses no temples, and is not worshipped, but he is the highest conception of Paraiya thought. Paraiyans worship at least three classes of godlings or dēvata, generally called the mothers (ammā). Sometimes they are worshipped as the virgins (Kanniyammā) or the seven virgins. These mothers may be worshipped collectively in a group. They are then symbolised by seven stones or bricks, perhaps within a little enclosure, or on a little platform in the Paraiya hamlet, or under a margosa (Melia Azadirachta) tree, or sheltered by a wattle hut, or even by a small brick temple. This temple is universally known as the Amman Koil. More usually, one particular mother is worshipped at the Paraiya shrine. She is then called the grāma dēvata, or village goddess, of the particular hamlet. The names of these goddesses are legion. Each village claims that its own mother is not the same as that of the next village, but all are supposed to be sisters. Each is supposed to be the guardian of the boundaries of the chēri or grāmam where her temple lies, sometimes of both grāmam and chēri. She is believed to protect its inhabitants and its livestock from disease, disaster and famine, to promote the fecundity of cattle and goats, and to give children. In a word, she is called the benefactress of the place, and of all in it who worship her. The following are a few of the names of these village tutelary deities:—
Ellammā, goddess of the boundary, worshipped by Tamil and Telugu Paraiyans.