Name the most unsociable things in the world? Milestones; for you never see two of them together.
Why is swearing like an old coat? Because it is a bad habit.
Suppose you were to bore a hole exactly through the earth, starting from New York, and you went in at this end, where would you come out? Out of the hole.
What is the difference between a Roman Catholic priest and a Baptist? One uses wax candles and the other dips.
Why, when you paint a man's portrait, may you be described as stepping into his shoes? Because you make his feet-yours (features).
What is the very best and cheapest light, especially for painters? Daylight.
Why is a marine painter like a large vessel? Because he draws so much water.
Why is it extraordinary not to find a painter's studio as hot as an oven? Because it is there that he makes his bread.
Where should you feel for the poor? In your pocket.
What is the best way of making a coat last? Make the trousers and waistcoat first.