What animals are admitted at the opera? White kids.
With what two animals do you always go to bed? Two calves.
Why are the actions of men like great rivers? Because we see the course that they take, but not the source whence they spring.
When is a young lady not a young lady? When she's a sweet tart (sweetheart).
Which is better, getting the girl of your choice or a shoulder of mutton? A shoulder of mutton; as nothing earthly can be better than getting her you love, and a shoulder of mutton is much better than nothing.
At what period in his sorrow does a widower recover from the loss of his dear departed? When he re-wives (revives).
Why are policemen particularly required in a hop ground? Because there are always so many people picking pockets there.
When is water most likely to escape? When it is only half-tide.
Plant a puppy, and what would come up? Dog would.
Why are artists like washerwomen? Because they are not satisfied until their works are "hung on the line."