Why is a man who never lays a wager as bad as a regular gambler? Because he is no better (bettor).
Why does the conductor cut a hole in your railroad ticket? To let you pass through.
Why should a man troubled with gout make his will? Because he will then have his leg at ease (legatees).
What is that which no one wishes to have, yet no one wishes to lose? A bald head.
Why are fixed stars like wicked old men? Because they sin-till-late (scintillate).
Why are very old people necessarily prolix and tedious? Because they die late (dilate).
A lady asked a gentleman how old he was. He answered, "My age is what you do in everything—excel (XL)."
Why is a mirror like a dissatisfied and ungrateful friend? Because, though you may positively load its back with silver, it will reflect on you.
Why is a butler like a mountain? Because he looks down on the valley (valet).
What is that which the fox has and the hare most wants? A brush.