If you were to swallow a man, what sort of man would you prefer? A little London porter.
Why should you never make love in the country? Because corn has ears, potatoes eyes, and the beans talk.
Why is an aged man like a deserted house? His gait (gate) is broken, and his locks are few.
What did a blind man take at breakfast which restored his sight? A cup and saucer (saw, sir!).
Which is the laziest plant, and which the most active? The creeper and the running vine.
Why is an autoist whose machine has been completely wrecked like a reformed autoist? Because he has suddenly given up motoring.
What does a hen do when she stands on one foot? Lifts up the other.
Why should the largest tree be near a church? There should be no bigger tree (bigotry) there.
Why is a stupid servant like a church bell? He has to be often told (tolled).
Why are sailors in a leaky vessel like dancing masters? They depend on their pumps.