What rose is "born to blush unseen"? Neg-roes.
What relation is a loaf of bread to a locomotive? The mother—bread being a necessity, a locomotive being an invention, and "Necessity is the mother of invention."
What is more moist than a young lady with a waterfall on her head, a cataract in her eye, a little lake on each cheek, high-tied shoes, and a crick in her back? A young lady with a notion (an ocean) in her head.
What is the best kind of agricultural fair? A farmer's very pretty daughter.
Why is a photograph like a member of Congress? Because it's a representative.
Why is a pelted actor like a pardoned criminal? Because he's glad to get off.
When is a bank note like iron? When it is forged.
Why is the sun like a good loaf? It is light when it rises.
Why may a dyspeptic hope for a long life? He can't die just (digest) now.
Why does a person who is ailing lose his sense of touch? Because he does not feel well.