What is the difference between a volunteer and an omelet? The difference is that one is equipped to go forth, the other is egg whipped to go froth.
Why is a black man necessarily a conjurer? Because he is a negro-man-sir (necromancer).
What is that which every one frequently holds yet rarely touches? His tongue.
What is a good way to make money fast? Put it in a safety deposit box.
Why is one who uses hair dye like a suicide? Because he dies by his own hand.
Why are frames put about tomato plants? To make the tomato ketchup (catch up).
Why should wire be used to train string beans? So that they may not be too stringy.
Why is a proposal like the first conviction for drunkenness? Because it is a short sentence which generally leads to a long one.
What kind of a pen does the plagiarist use? Steel.
If an uncle's sister is not your aunt, what relation does she bear to you? Your mother.