CHAPTER V
Conundrums of the Civil War Period
Why does our army differ from the army of the Revolution? Because in one case the army is bound to defend Washington, in the other Washington was bound to defend the army.
Why is the Republican Party like a celebrated English ruler of the seventeenth century, "Oliver Cromwell, the Blacksmith"? Because it breaks asunder the chains of despotism and adds a link on (A. Lincoln) to history.
Why is an owl in the daylight like the President of the United States? Because he is a-blinkin' (Abe Lincoln).
Why is one of the new Treasury notes like a young lady's love letter? Because it is the acknowledgment of a loan made (lone maid) to which an unusual amount of interest is attached.
Why is the American Union a puzzle to the most profound astronomers? Because some of its "stars" have gone, and they cannot predict their return.
Why is General McClellan like the Established Church? Because he governs by Can(n)on Law.
Why is a diamond in a cup of cold water like the Union? Because it will not dissolve.
Why are the shot and shell of the blockading squadron like lovers' vows? Because they are intended for privateers (private ears).
Why are American greenbacks like the Jews? Because they are the product of Abraham, and no one knows if they will ever be redeemed.