If a man attempts to jump a ditch and falls, why is he likely to miss the beauties of summer? Because the fall follows right after the spring, unless he makes a summerset between them.
What does an iron-clad vessel of war, with four inches of steel plating and all its guns on board, weigh just before starting on a cruise? She weighs anchor.
Why is a washerwoman like Saturday? Because she brings in the close (clothes) of the week.
When is it a good thing to lose your temper? When it is a bad one.
Why should a man never marry a woman named Ellen? Because he rings his own (k)nell.
What is it which covers a multitude of sin(ner)s? The gravestone.
Why is a vessel being blown out to sea like a bankrupt householder? Because both submit to a forced sail.
Why is a rooster on a [fence] like a penny? Because his head's on one side and tail's on the other.
What is the military definition of a kiss? A report at headquarters.
Why are washerwomen foolish people? Because they put out their tubs to catch soft water when it rains hard.