What is the first thing you do when you get into bed? You make an impression.
Why is twice ten like twice eleven? Because twice ten is twenty, and twice eleven is twenty-two (too).
Why is a pretty girl's pleased-merry-bright-laughing-eye no better than an eye destroyed? Because it's an-eye-elated.
That which every one requires, that which every one gives, that which every one asks, and that which very few take? Advice.
When is a thief like a reporter? When he takes notes.
When is a nation like a baby? When it is in arms.
What does the lamp post become when the lamp is removed? A lamp lighter.
Why is a mother who spoils her child like a person building castles in the air? She indulges in-fancy too much.
When you listen to your little brother's drum, why are you like a just judge? Because you hear both sides.
What is the action of the moon? It affects physically the tide, and sentimentally the untied.