What is that which has a mouth but never speaks, and a bed but never sleeps in it? A river.

Why should you never have a tailor who does not understand his trade? Because you would get bad habits from him.

What is the difference between a sailor and a soldier? One tars his ropes, the other pitches his tent.

Which is the ugliest hood ever worn? Falsehood.

What is the best thing to make in a hurry? Haste.

Why are cobblers like a famous physician? They are skilled in the art of healing (heeling).

What pen ought never to be used for writing? A sheep pen.

When is a subject beneath one's notice? When it is under consideration.

Why is a loyal gentleman like a miser? He knows the value of his sovereign.

When is a bill not a bill? When it is dew.