What is the proper newspaper for invalids? The Weekly News.
When is a pint of milk not a pint? When it's condensed.
What tune makes everybody glad? Fortune.
What is it that has four legs and only one foot? A bedstead.
Why is attar of roses never moved without orders? Because it is sent wherever it goes.
What goes most against a farmer's grain? His reaper.
What precious stone is like the entrance to a field? A-gate.
When is a man like frozen rain? When he is hale (hail).
Which of the stars should be subject to the game laws? Shooting stars.
What garden crop would save draining? Leeks.