When does a cook break the game laws? When she poaches eggs.
When is a river like a young lady? When it is crossed.
Why is a carpenter like a languid dandy? Because he often feels a great deal bored.
When does a donkey weigh least? When he is within the pound.
What is the last blow a defeated ship gives in battle? Striking her own flag.
What had better be done when there is a great rent on a farm? It had better be sewn (sown).
Why should onions be planted near the potatoes in a garden? So that the onions may have a tear-producing effect upon the eyes of the potatoes and make them self-irrigating.
Why may not the proprietor of a forest fell his own timber? Because no one is allowed to cut when it is his own deal.
What is the oldest piece of furniture in the world? The multiplication table.
Which is the greatest number, six dozen dozen or half a dozen dozen? Six dozen dozen, of course.