When was beef the highest? When the cow jumped over the moon.
What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence.
Why is a straw hat like kissing through the telephone? Because neither is felt.
Why is your shadow like a false friend? Because it only follows you in sunshine.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter.
If a woman asks her blind lover the color of a flower, what would he say? "I have no i-dea."
When are lawyers circumstances? When they alter cases.
Why is a dog's tail like an expressman? It keeps a-waggin'.
Why are chickens liberal? They give a peck when they take a grain.
What animals are in the clouds? [Rain-deer].