Why is an eyelid like the wadding to a gun? Because it covers the ball.
Why is a smith like a ferryman? Because his business is to work ore.
Why is a garter like the gates of a slaughter house? Because it holds the stock in (stocking).
Why is a holly bush like a corpse? Because it is or will be berry'd.
Why is an apron like peas? Because it is gathered.
Why, when a very fat man gets squeezed coming out of the opera, does it make him complimentary to the ladies? Because the pressure makes him flatter.
Why are a couple of first-rate breech-loaders like two beautiful young ladies? Because they're pair-o'-guns (paragons).
Why is a woman's beauty like a gold coin? Because when once changed it soon goes.
What herb is most injurious to a lady's beauty? Thyme.