On what side of a church does a yew-tree grow? The outside.
Why is a man whose "heart is in his mouth" through fright, like a cabbage? Because his heart's in his head.
Why is a shoemaker more charitable than another man? Because he is ready to give any man a lift.
Why is a picture like a fine woman? Because it's framed to please.
Why is a cunning man like a shoemaker? Because he'll pump you.
Why is a fiddle-maker like an apothecary? Because he'll send you a vial in.
Why would a pelican make a good lawyer? He knows how to stretch his bill.
When is a man incapable of performing a bare-faced action? When he wears a heavy beard and a mustache.
Why is a thief like a philosopher? Because he is given to fits of abstraction.
Why is it illegal for a man to possess a short walking stick? Because it can never be-long to him.