Saul, he ’gin ter meddowtate, an’ think King Dabid uh witch, kase he sho’ he kilt him in baid, so he got pow’ful skerd, ’fraid ub King Dabid—too skerd futto wait till de night watches ter meddowtate; so he meddowtate all day, an’ dat night he made spittoon bridges, tuck his army ’cross de ribber, so he cud ’cruit fuh jackasses an’ camels, ez da wan’ none lef’ ’ceppin’ sixteen white asses dat pull his chariot, so he cummenc’ ter mortify de place, sant his staff futto look fuh uh drobe ub asses, an’ his sutler say, “We kyant fine dem asses.”
Saul say, “I kin fine dat drobe; so he meck bleebe he look fuh de asses, but all de time he wuz ’rangin’ ter ezert.” (Meh eyes is so bad I kyant wear meh specks, so I got Uncle Reubin ter read dis gran’ narration ter me lars’ week; so I is preachin’ ezactly de way de Bible say.) Well, Saul say ter Jonah, his spittoon oberseer, “King Dabid is so cute an’ cunnin’ I’s feared he may hab one ub dem torpeders un’er dis mountain futto blow us up; dafo’ I am gwine ter ezert, an’ wan’ you ter go wid me ’cross de ribber in one ub dese spittoon bridges ter see King Dabid.”
Jonah say he lub King Dabid, hab de gret’s speck fuh him, wuz anxious ter be an’ exerter, but he had once bin in de whale’s belly three days and three nights; so he had ernuff ub de sea. Den he wep’ on de bres’ ub his Pappy Amelikite, who wuz skerd stiff, an’ wuz weepin’ on de bres’ ub Jonah, who fudder say, dat he rudder risk his life in battle, er be kilt by de jawbone ub an ass, dan sink on one ub dem spittoon bridges an’ be et up by shirks.”
Amelikite had condidence in de spittoon bridges, ezerted wid Saul, an’ wid two fence rails dey paddled de boat ober ter de camp ub King Dabid.
Sister Becky: “Pawson Demby, wha’ dey git fence rails fum dem days?”
Sister Becky, mos’ any pusson but me wud teck a fence at dat question.
Ev’ybody nose dat de rods ub ches’nut, hazel, poplar an’ pine Jacob, de son-in-law ub Mars Laban, had piled up, wuz fence rails. In dese days dey call ’em fence rails; in dem days, rods. Ez big uh farmer ez Jacob wuz, wid all de thousands ub mules, jack-asses, speckled cattle, goats, sheep an’ cows he had, how he gwine ter raise de cawn, oats, wheat an’ barley he did ’doutin fences? Why, his beases wud hab ’stroyed his craps in one day.
It cum ter pars Amelikite wen’ wid Saul, an’ Saul say, “Tell it not in Gath” (I s’pose dat wuz uh army ’spression er watchword); so dey bail out de boat, paddle ’cross de ribber, an’ landed near uh tent. Da sot King Dabid on uh sycamo’ stump (sycamo’ trees wuz de fa-vo-rites in dem days; dat’s de tree dat little Zackius clum), musin’ an’ I s’pose longin’ fuh de wife ub Urihy, an’ meddowtatin’ er dotin’ on Miss Abigail, de wife ub Nabal, who wuz smut wid him, cudn’ resis’ his beauty, an’ cum ter him wid five damsels ez bridemaids, all uh straddle ub asses. I kyant gib deah names kase Samuel de fus fogot ter mention ’em.
Saul open de composation, an’ speak fus by sayin’: “King Dabid, dis man kep’ comp’ny wid me crossin’ de ribber; his name Amelikite. We is bof’n us ezerters an’ tired ub wah.” Den King Dabid say, “Set down; I speck you horngry, too? Hab some kid an’ hardtack, an’ tell me de news.”
Saul told him de Flistines wuz mortifyin’ de mountain, an’ ev’y man wud die befo’ dey waccinate de place.